Ronald McDonald, Child Predator

A handy tip for any would-be child predators... it's perfectly acceptable for kids to leave home with you, as long as you dress like Ronald McDonald and give them 3 hamburgers.



Interesting side note: That's Willard Scott in the clown makeup. Amazing how some things never change.

That's Not a Taco

While we're on the subject of tacos, here's a commercial disaster from 1979 for Jimboy's Tacos in Sacramento, CA. It would be an easy mark to make fun of the dated clothing and cheesy production values, but I won't do that. For their time, these elements probably weren't too far off the mark for local commercials. In fact, they're better than some (most) of the local commercials I grew up watching in the 80's and 90's.

However...

Watch for the camera pan of the menu items near the end of the spot.



Yep, nothing says authentic Mexican food more than hamburgers, french fries, and sub sandwiches!

Pap's Place

If there's one thing I know about food service, it's that "Pap" should never be part of the name of a restaurant.



Besides the unappetizing choice of a name, the terrible Minnie Pearl impersonator and disturbing furries in this commercial disaster are more than enough to scare me away from eating at this restaurant. (Did you notice the catfish mascot has arms? Makes me worry about what kind of mutant catfish they're serving on their buffet.) And what's with the Jesus reference? Talk about a non sequitur! If all that isn't enough to dissuade you from eating at this establishment, keep an eye on the guy in the apron at the end. Scary.

Sexy McDonald's

Speaking of Big Macs, am I the only one that finds this female version of Ronald McDonald both deeply unnerving and oddly sexy?

Kenny Loggins, Eat Your Heart Out

Lean Cuisine... from the producers of Top Gun!

Taylor Lautner Eats Frosted Flakes (and Sorta Plays Baseball)

Blink and you might miss it, but that's a young Taylor Lautner starring in this commercial disaster. (He's the kid in the glory shot eating the cereal.)



I'm not going to rag on everybody's favorite werewolf for starring in this commercial disaster, because practically every actor starts in commercials, especially when they start young. However, there are at least 4 major problems with this disaster...

1. Since when is little league baseball practice a military boot camp? I don't remember any army-style chants in my little league experience.
2. Aren't these kids a little too old to be hitting baseballs off of tees?
3. In one of the shots (in fact, it's the poster frame for the video), the players are running the wrong way around the bases. I know this is a training drill, but shouldn't one of their top priorities be teaching these kids the basic fundamentals of baseball?
4. I'm pretty sure eating a big sugary bowl of Frosted Flakes is frowned upon by most baseball coaches, especially AT A TEAM MEAL!

How many more problems can you spot?

A Breath of Fresh Air

If you feel like you need to take a shower to wash off the sleaze from the lawyers in the last couple of posts, then here's a more lighthearted disaster to cleanse your palate. By comparison to the last few we've seen, this entry from McDonald's (circa 1988) seems almost quaint. Still, I would have loved to be on the set when the director told the actors, "I want you to prance around like a toddler in a ballet class."

Dateline: Australia, 1992

I know there are different standards for political correctness in every country. And this commercial was made almost 20 years ago. But I can't imagine who thought this was a good idea... in any time or place. At least we know now where George Lucas got his inspiration for Jar Jar Binks.