Ben Stiller Doesn't Speak Japanese

While we're once again on the subject of American celebrities making Japanese commercials, did you know that Ben Stiller made one too? Notice how they dubbed his voice, even though he appears to making an attempt to speak the Japanese text. Kudos to Ben for trying, but I guess his pronunciation was so bad they couldn't use it. Add to that the assault on the senses that most Japanese advertising is anyway (and this ad is no exception) and you've got a guaranteed recipe for disaster.

Cowboys & Aliens

I've featured one of Nicolas Cage's disastrous Pachinko ads on the site before, but I can't help but wonder if Cowboys & Aliens (the new movie opening in theaters this weekend) wasn't inspired by this ad...

Pay to Get Insulted

Once upon a time, 900 numbers were all the rage. And this spot is further proof that the purveyors of these "services" would do anything to grab every last cent you have. Still, I can't imagine who this "service" is aimed toward. One thing I can say for certain though... at least the internet came along and made getting insulted free.

Microsoft and T-Rex Have a Lot in Common

This isn't so much a commercial as it is a promotional video, created by Microsoft for their Songsmith program (their terrible software that supposedly turns anyone into a musician). Nonetheless, I think we can all agree this video is a total disaster. If Microsoft keeps sinking their money into developing products like this -- and, frankly, it doesn't look like they're showing any signs of letting up -- Microsoft may very well go the way of the dinosaur mentioned in the title (or the band, if you prefer the musical analogy).

Where's Your Head?

In one of my television advertising classes in college, they taught us that you must run a commercial three times within a program to make an effective impression on the audience with the advertising message. However... I'm pretty sure they didn't mean run it three times in a row within the same commercial! Also, I'm pretty sure they told us to at least mention what the product does.

CGI Isn't an Acronmyn for "Can't Get ILM"

Dear Commercial Producer,

Just because you bought a copy of Maya doesn't mean you can produce Avatar in 30 minutes (which is obviously all the time you spent working on this disaster). Also, making it black and white doesn't make your crappy CGI look any better. Shooting video of Hot Wheels wiping out in your driveway would have been more believable.

Sincerely,
Everyone

Don't Drink the Milk

Hot on the heels of the Demon Doll (aka Baby Laughs Alot), Milky The Marvelous Milking Cow is another toy  and commercial from the 70's that completely miss the mark. These kids are way too excited about a gross product that does nothing but make a mess. And I don't even want to know what's in the "pretend" milk.

Demon Doll

Were kids in the early 70's so starved for entertainment that this was actually considered a viable toy product?? I seriously think this toy may have inspired The Exorcist in 1973.

Just Say No

Apparently, doing drugs -- ANY DRUG -- will make the world move in slow motion.

Not Safe for Kids

PETA has been known to pull some crazy stunts. This commercial disaster is one of them.



I don't care how "right" their message is... If I had kids at an impressionable age and they saw this, I'd be pissed.

It's Your Funeral

It's rare that I'm speechless in regards to a commercial disaster, but this commercial disaster really needs no introduction.

How Do They Know It Tastes Good?

It's weird... Even though I was quite young when this commercial was produced and aired (in the mid and late 70's), I actually remember it. Probably proof positive of how scary, disturbing, and utterly wrong it is.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yes, it's my birthday. And to celebrate this (not so) momentous occasion, I thought I'd share with you my favorite commercial disaster from the past year. (Although the site has only been online since April, so technically the past 3 months... but let's not split hairs.)

Hands down, my favorite commercial disaster this year has been Mow the Lawn, which I originally posted in late May. And judging by the number of hits it has gotten, it's far and away your favorite too.



However, a close second would have to be one that ran only two days later, but was largely overlooked by the viewing public. (Maybe you guys were still so busying sharing Mow the Lawn with friends that you missed this one.) Nonetheless, one that I find hilarious in its ignorance and think deserves a second look is Fauquier Health.

Happy Birthday America!

That's right! The next time terrorists try to attack America, we'll band together in the streets! And the suburbs!! And the hill country!!! Yeah!!!! We'll wipe those terrorists off the map like the... Wait, what's that you say? This is a commercial for paintball guns??? Oh crap.

Educational Song

This commercial for Education Connection (an online college) has a jingle that will stick with you all day (and not in a good way).



By the way, the dead giveaway that this online college is only after your money (as are most, probably) is right at the beginning of the commercial. The girl says (sings?) that she didn't do great in high school. Isn't it conventional wisdom that college is harder than high school? So if you didn't do great in high school, college may not be for you, girlie. If Education Connection wants to con people out of their money, maybe they should try being more subversive. (I know, I shouldn't expect much from Education Connection. Their writer probably graduated from Education Connection.)

June Referral Contest Winner

Perrin Hall is the winner of the June Referral Contest!

Congratulations, Perrin! I will be contacting you about your $25 Amazon Gift Card momentarily. For those you that entered but didn't win, be on the lookout for more contests in the future. Surprisingly, this contest didn't attract as many entries as I expected it to, so I'm going to have to think over how to tweak future contests to make them more appealing to enter... but I expect we'll have more contests down the road. If you have suggestions on how improve future contests, send them my way via the Contact page or by sharing them on Facebook or Twitter.